This page presents the perfect opportunity for me to convince you that I am a super parent - an award winning author of developmental disciplinary works for troublesome toddlers, or perhaps the founder of some newfangled "movement" that allows you to potty train your child in less than 24 hours. Maybe I've got an e-book that I'm trying to sell you. Or perhaps I'm a bit less ambitious and simply wanted to start a blog because I've got this parenting thing down to a science and I want to share my experiments in child-rearing precision with the world.
But the sad fact is that none of those things are true. I'm simply another mixed up dad who didn't really know what he was getting himself into. I love being a father, but my parental self-confidence seems to fluctuate daily, with every hissy fit, tantrum, and toddler meltdown. Like many of my contemporaries (and most of my ancestors, come to think of it), I'm struggling to find the perfect balance of work and play, of "me time" and family time. My wife and I are trying to raise our kids to be responsible and ethical free-thinking individuals. But it isn't easy! There's no definitive instruction manual for parenting, since even the best-intentioned parenting books that I have read can't seem to agree.
So I have come to the conclusion that being a good father is all about making good choices. I was going to say the "right" choices, but that is too subjective and kids don't arrive equipped with a "reset" button, so we don't get to start over and compare how they would turn out. When our kids are small, we make most of the decisions for them, and as they get older we slowly hand them their own reins. This may be an overly simplified view, but it exemplifies every parent/child relationship that I can think of.
I'd like to document most of the choices that I am making as a father for three reasons:
1) I want to have a central repository of my thoughts that my children can visit when they get older, and hopefully understand what was going through my head when I was playing the part of their "crazy" dad.
2) I'm interested in hearing ideas and suggestions from other parents and I figured that the best way to foster such discussion is to share my experiences.
3) I want to keep a journal that I can occasionally revisit to laugh at my newbie paternal naivety.
I may also discuss topics on this blog that have indirect, yet very lasting effects on my family - from complex issues like self-employment and voluntary simplification, to typical head-of-household concerns like home improvement and health insurance. At other times, I may just rant. Although I have become quite domesticated over the years, I still hang on to a few threads of my rebellious formative years, and hope to reignite my art and music career at some point. Maybe it's an early mid-life crisis or something.
With all of that in mind, I welcome you to read the memoirs of this aspiring parental pundit at your own risk. I'm no expert, but like most parents who don't know exactly what they're doing, I am occasionally good for a laugh.
~ choosydad